Alot of single ladies while in search or wanting a relationship tend to go to extends to see that they get one. Now I will want us to look at these 5 mistakes we tend to overlook and maybe it will help alot of single ladies out there.
Being single is being complete and unique. You are not going into a relationship to find a sponsor to your business or your daily provider bit rather a companion. Someone you share ideas with, a best friend and all. There are expectations we expect from them that is very uncalled for and that takes us to our first point which is;
1. Expecting more from our dates than we do from ourselves
I really have respect for independent ladies. I call it being the boss of yourself. Most a times we are being ignorant about this factor, actually it can chase the guys away from us. Single ladies don’t expect him to spend so much on you on a first date you can be disappointed when you put your hopes high. When going for a date and most especially your first date, as a lady their are also expectations from you. Some ladies even go to extends of going on first date with their friends. Really!!! Is that the first impression you want to give him? Just be yourself, if its a restaurant don’t get buried in the menu. Pick what you are comfortable with. Fell at ease, wear something comfortable. This is very important just look simple don’t look like someone who is going for hiking or clubbing. About conversation, be mild, don’t talk about serious issues for long it might scare them away. Be a good listener and make sure you are on the same page. Just make a good impression of yourself instead of worrying and expecting too much from him.
2. Being judgemental
Being judgemental is when you find fault in another person or group of people or idea or situation. It isn’t all bad, but let our inner judge be balanced. When you are in a friendship and always putting blames on the guy when little things occur, you are already creating a gap between you and he might begin to loose interest in you if he had one. Admitting you are wrong and apologizing when you actually are, is a charm!!!. No relationship gets perfect without misunderstandings and issues. Don’t expect yours to be perfect.
3. Being too picky
Ladies we have our “speck” right. We can be very selective and only go for good looking, rich and successful guys. Though it varies in our choices but this are some major qualities we tend to look at. You don’t need to be picky. Just be flexible, don’t go jotting down points to remember specific qualities you are looking for in a partner. Deal with your fears, ask yourself what has made you so choosy in the first place. Are you afraid of rejection? Or their are other fears pondering in your mind? These affect your choosing a partner. The idea of a relationship is complementing each other after all you might like to have similar likes and dislikes. Few dissimilarities, try to discuss with family and friends. They can help make other clear self assessment and point out exactly where you can be going wrong.
4. Always going for the alpha/fuckboys.
The common reasons why most girls go for the fuck boys is because they are always more interesting than the good boys, they promise love unconditionally, they are so attractive, they tell you everything you want to hear, they make you feel so damn attractive and many more. Now, why I take this as also a mistake is because after all of this, it us very few of then that take the relationship to the next level. Thy just spend time with you and leave at the end. Ladies we don’t really have time for all these. A guy can get married at any age but ladies, have their limits. Why then want to waste your time because you want to feel all those things I listed above. You can get all this from the right guy. Like do you believe in the saying that says ” you can unleash the inner beast if that’s actually your place ” no matter how strict the guy may seem if he’s really the right one you can unleash that other side of him. You are not worth the heartbreaks the fuckboys give. Get a guy with purpose, aim, goals and dreams. A guy that has interest in your dreams. Someone that moves in the same “ship” with you that is why it is called a relationship. You are moving in the same ship, to the same destination, in the same direction. You can’t be in the same ship and both of you are moving in different directions.
5. Thinking there are unlimited options.
We can say ” there are many fishes in the river ” but how many of this fishes will serve us a great meal?. All the guys we keep how many of them are ready. Most ladies that double date are not still ready to settle. A lady once quoted this ” it is very easy to find a guy to date but when it comes to the one to the ones that are serious or have a purpose, there are very few “. That is true, we find out that we get into relationships easily in fact as ladies we don’t need to struggle to get into one because they are very much available but not all are willing to settle. Are you really going to be like that? From one guy to the other? Just make the right choice and save yourself the energy.